The days leading up to THE DAY I found out that I’m pregnant I was thinking maybe, maybe not. Am I? Am I not? And I dare not hope I am just in case I’m not, and I dare not think I’m not because of course I am, it’s science!
So all of those back and forth emotions culminated when I received a call from the nurse with a positive blood test.
I laughed and cried and was in so much shock the news just didn’t sink in.
But then I slept.
And when I woke up, I felt pregnant.
Like, even though it’s not at all possible or scientific, I felt the baby in my belly. I felt protective and very aware that I was now a miraculous construction site. And I felt like a mom again (this is the weird one, because I never stopped being a mom to Josie???).
Then I made an important decision: I chose to really live it all.
From now until MAY I will:
- Embrace the good and the bad of pregnancy: Crying at the drop of a hat? Feeling extra hungry or tired? Right on. Nauseous? I guess. Remembering how amazing it is that I’m growing a human? Yes. Always yes.
- Give myself grace in fatigue: Being pregnant isn’t the only thing we’ve got going on in our lives! We’ve recently moved into a new house, my full-time job, an impending job-change for Ryan, family and friends. And most importantly, we’ve got Josie and a marriage to focus on! So I’ll forgive myself every night when I’m in bed by 8 because I’ve given all I’ve got to a growing baby and all of the above.
- Love my body: Even though I know that I’ll just feel and look chubby the first several months before the cute bump comes. Even though my workouts won’t be as satisfying as before, if I can even
muster up the energy to work out at all. Even though I will pee more often than I thought humanly possible and shower way less than socially acceptable. I’m a baby-growing goddess.
These declarations are just as important as the diet change, the gender reveal and packing the hospital bags. This is self-care at its most impactful – in the body, mind, and spirit. And self-care not just for my sake, but for the sake of those closest to me. And for the sake of the one who is growing in my belly.