Today, I bring before you a PSA for decency. An attempt to tackle a growing epidemic among women. I’m mostly embarrassed to post this, as it’s been a while since I’ve been inspired to write a blog, and THIS is the topic I choose after weeks of silence. But it is an important one. It bothers me weekly. So, ladies, listen up!
This clever little poem hung (and may possibly still be hanging) in the bathroom stalls at my Grandma’s church. It was burned into my brain as a child. As a little girl, I thought to myself, “How strange that we need a sign to tell women to clean up after themselves.”
And now, as an adult, I realize that absolutely we need a sign! Ladies, if you’ve ever experienced the ridiculousness that is the public bathroom, you know this to be true.
Here’s the problem: Women are grossed out by sitting on the toilet seat in public. It’s cool. I get it. Doesn’t personally bother me, but to each her own. But, instead of putting down toilet paper or using the paper cover (sometimes) provided, ladies now squat over the toilet seat and attempt to aim.
Newsflash! Women can’t aim. And from the looks of it, most can’t even hold a squat properly. I mean, seriously. Holding that low of a squat for any extended period of time is hard — even for those who are in shape. And believe me, I’ve cheated at squats before, and slowly stood up to relieve the shaking in my thighs. But NEVER over the toilet! (Always in my basement, in shame, with the judging eyes of Jillian Michaels staring me down through my TV.)
And I’ll tell you, 4 out of 5 times I enter a stall, there’s pee (or worse) on the seat. Are we stuck with the uncertainty of the horror that may await us as we push open the stall door? I say, no! Ladies, YOU can be part of the solution (you know who you are!).
What’s a girl to do?
- Chill the heck out. Stop the squatting, and have a seat. Put 14 layers of toilet paper down if it makes you feel better. But also, when’s the last time you heard of someone catching some deadly disease on the john? Scientifically speaking, whatever germs you may sit on can only enter your body through a mucous membrane, which you don’t have on your derriere. Plus, with regular showering and hand washing, you’ll survive, I promise.
- If you must squat, at least pair your squatting efforts with common courtesy. As the wise poem says above, wipe the seat! And if you’re not in the habit of turning around to glance at the toilet after your use (which, you probably should be if you are in the habit of flushing), change your ways. Take a glance and see if you’d appreciate walking into the stall you’re leaving.
In following these two simple steps, I believe that we can change the world…or at least change the way we feel when we walk into a public bathroom and look at the toilet seat – which, for me (a pregnant woman who pees at least twice during a half hour trip to Target) might actually be the world.